


the other half of me

by ralf



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Aftermath, Gen, Hurt Stiles, Post-Nogitsune, Scott McCall & Stiles Stilinski Friendship, Scott McCall is a Good Friend
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-12
Updated: 2015-11-12
Packaged: 2018-05-01 08:23:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5198903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ralf/pseuds/ralf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It starts with a new buzz cut.</p>
            </blockquote>





	the other half of me

**Author's Note:**

> Title is from the song "Mirrors" by Justin Timberlake.

It starts with a new buzz cut.

 

Scott greets him with a slight frown. “You cut your hair,” he states unnecessarily.

“Actually the hairdresser cut my hair,” he answers.

Scott huffs indignantly. “Why?”

He shrugs. “Dunno. Couldn't be bothered with doing them all the time. I ran out of gel anyway.”

Scott doesn't look convinced but lets it slide.

 

*

 

They are hanging out in Scott's room doing nothing special when Scott is suddenly hit with a wave of Stiles's anxiety.

“You alright?” he asks concerned, following Stiles's gaze to the half-closed door. He strains his hearing but there is nothing.

“Yeah, just..” Stiles gets up from where he was lounging on the bed. “Thirsty.”

He leaves the room and Scott can track his steps down to the kitchen, can hear the tap running.

Stiles returns a minute later, casually kicking the door shut behind him, but when he meets Scott's eyes a new wave of nervousness rolls off him.

“Are you really okay?”

Stiles licks his lips. “I'm fine.”

 

*

 

When the photographer shows up to take pictures for their yearbook, Stiles disappears.

 

Later he tells Scott that he was feeling vertiginous and left early.

Scott hears a hitch in his heartbeat.

 

*

 

Something doesn't sit quite right with him. Something feels familiar but misplaced.

Scott concentrates on his current surroundings – the Stilinski's bathroom – and tries to find the source of his confusion.

It's a smell.

He opens his eyes he had shut to focus and closes in on the cabinet over the sink. He hesitates for a moment but then curiosity and a peculiar gut feeling get the better of him and he opens it.

Nothing seems out of order: Toothbrush, razor, cotton swabs, toothpaste, sanitizer, pincette, ...

A tube of hair gel.

Half-full.

 

*

 

The first thing Scott notices about Stiles is how tired he looks. He has dark circles under his eyes and his clothes are askew.

“Are you alright? Didn't you sleep well?”

Stiles waves his hand dismissively. “I slept just fine.”

“You sure? You don't look like it.”

He feels irritation rise in Stiles, spiced with a sliver of unease. “What do I look like then?”

Scott frowns. “Wasted. Didn't you look in the mirror?”

Stiles freezes, his pulse skyrockets and all remaining color drains from his face. He moves a second later, tries to play the part by rolling his eyes and talking back but it sounds forced to Scott.

In a strange moment of clarity everything odd that happened over the last few weeks falls into place.

 

*

 

Scott doesn't say anything immediately. He needs to process this.

Stiles needs help. His help.

He is, frankly, at a loss.

 

*

 

He had always been better at doing stuff than thinking things through.

(That's what Stiles is for.)

 

*

 

“It's so stupid.”

Stiles is sitting on his bed, face buried in his hands.

“It's not. It's okay,” Scott tries to sooth.

Stiles lifts his head and shoots him a glare. “I'm afraid of my own reflection. That is _not_ okay.” He lifts a frustrated hand to drag through his hair, but it is too short. “ _I'm_ not okay.”

“We'll find something. To make it stop.” He pauses. “We did that before.”

Stiles shakes his head. “It's not like those nightmares, Scott. It's memories. Stuff that happened. You can't stop that.” He sighs and Scott doesn't like at all how defeated he sounds. “You can't un-happen the past.”

“Yeah,” Scott agrees. “But.. you can overcome it.”

Stiles gives him a dejected look. “How?”

 

*

 

“Are we really doing this?” Stiles asks for the umpteenth time.

“Yes. And it is not ridiculous, no matter how often you say that.”

“Whatever,” Stiles mutters.

Scott guides him to the bathroom but pauses in front of the door. “You ready?”

Stiles sighs excessively but his fluttering heartbeat betrays his nerves.

Scott pulls him inside and waits. Stiles's eyes stay glued to the tiled floor.

“C'mon, man, you can do it.”

Stiles laughs shakily. “Not too sure about that, to be honest.”

Scott gets behind him and lays his hands on Stiles's shoulders.

“Hey. You can take your time.”

Stiles takes deep breathes and Scott can _feel_ him fending off a panic attack.

“I'm right here, okay. I'm not going anywhere.” He leans into him. “You can do it.”

Stiles nods and a few more seconds tick by until he slowly lifts his gaze to the mirror.

It is just a glance and Stiles looks more at Scott than at himself, but Scott counts it as a win anyway.

They have time to figure this out.

 

*

 

“It's something Kira's mom said that I can't stop thinking about.”

They are having a game night turned sleepover and even though they stopped talking a while ago Stiles can tell Scott is still awake.

“After he spit me out and she called the Oni she said.. 'more you than the nogitsune.' ”

For a short moment he wonders if he will have to spell it out for Scott, but Scott does it for him. “You think there's something of him left in you.”

“Yeah. I mean, she implied it.”

He can hear Scott turn to face him but it is too dark for Stiles to see him. Scott can probably see him though.

“You are not going to hurt any of us,” Scott says slowly.

“I'm afraid that I will.”

“You won't.” Scott sounds decisively.

“How can you be so sure?”

“I just am.” Stiles can easily imagine his stupidly trusting expression.

It's not enough. “Why?”

“Because you are afraid of it. The.. the nogitsune wouldn't be afraid. He would be happy or something.” Scott sighs. “It shows me that you're you and you couldn't hurt us even if you wanted to.”

Stiles ponders that for a second but it doesn't convince him. It could be a trick. Everything could be a trick.

He can feel Scott watching him. “Look, if you don't trust yourself then trust me. Can you do that? Have faith in me?”

Stiles smiles despite himself. For all his faults Scott has never failed him.

“Yes.” He feels a little lighter. “Yes, I can do that.”

Scott lets out a breath. “Good. We'll get over this. You'll see.”

 

*

 

It takes Stiles weeks to force himself to look in the mirror everytime he uses the sink.

But he gets there.

 

*

 

It takes weeks for Stiles not to flinch everytime he catches sight of his reflection unexpectedly.

But he gets there.

 

*

 

“Hey, look who let his hair grow out again,” Scott says cheerfully.

Stiles gives an amused snort. “Couldn't waste my supply of hair gel, could I.”

His smile is tentative and unsure. Scott pulls him into a tight hug to tell him everything he can't say.

_I'm proud of you. We're gonna get through this together. I'm here for you._

Stiles returns his firm grip and whispers a _thank you_.

 

 

.

**Author's Note:**

> English is not my first language, feel free to point out any mistakes and/or tell me if it was completely terrible :)


End file.
